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Real Madrid Transfer Rumors: Zidane Pursuing Hazard, No One Pursuing Neymar

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We're back with a not-so-fresh-and-definitely-not-improved version of "Absurd Real Madrid Transfer Rumor of the Week," and, like always, we have NEYMAR NEWS (sarcastic "yay!"). But before we get to that, the most intriguing gossip coming out of the press this week has to do with French youngster Eden Hazard, one of the most promising players in all Europe, according to, like, everyone.

And of course, Zinedine Zidane is exercising his official position as "guy who tries to make Real Madrid acquire French people" by "pushing hard" for the young playmaker. I don't really know what that means; but the fact is, I'm not exactly sure what Zizou does in general. The article says that he has "free reign to negotiate Hazard's contract with Real Madrid." I genuinely didn't know that Zizou had that kind of power.

I will say this: Hazard is really, really good. Madrid would be lucky to get him (for a good price, of course, and I'm not sure how willing Lille, his current club, is to sell right now).

And now, a NEYMAR UPDATE!

In shocking news, no one cares. Seriously. The young Brazilian playmaker's agent (and overall d-bag) Wagner Ribeiro has gone from coyly playing Real Madrid and FC Barcelona off of each other to trying desperately to ensure that someone will sign him. In declarations to the Spanish press, he confidently declared that, "I'm going to work around-the-clock to make sure Neymar ends up with Real Madrid."

Yeah, OK.

Honestly, this isn't really Neymar's fault. He has been playing absolutely brilliant football recently, showing off his immense pace, footwork, and goal-scoring vision during Brazil's recent match against Argentina. I'm going to say this again: none of this is his fault (though he has been a little coy), he's a really great player, and I do think he'll end up playing for los blancos.

But damn, he has a terrible entourage.

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