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Which Madridista Will New-Cule Suarez Bite First? A Managing Madrid Contest

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Managing Madrid founder Gabe Lezra will donate $100 to the Global Alliance for Rabies Control if the majority of voters correctly pick the first Real Madrid player that new-Barcelona striker Luis Suarez bites.

Matthias Hangst

FC Barcelona signed Luis Suarez from Liverpool today in a deal that will come close to Euro 80M (though how much they actually paid is literally anyone's guess, including their own board). This news hits home for most Madridistas, who watched the Uruguayan striker's most recent mauling of Giorgio Chiellini with a sad sense of foreboding.

But rather than cower in fear--like the villagers surrounding the Transylvanian castle inhabited by Dracula--we here at Managing Madrid have decided to try to turn this bit of news into an opportunity to do some good for the world. And, unlike the recent tax fraud and evasion allegations against another Barcelona star (seriously, how am I supposed to make a good joke about that?), this particular signing lends itself well to comedy.

So, MMers, I propose a little contest. Below, you'll see a poll containing all the members of Real Madrid's (current) squad, and a couple of soon-to-be-incorporated newcomers (hello, Toni!). If a majority of you vote for the correct player--that is, the Real Madrid player that Luis Suarez eventually does bite--then I will donate $100 to the Global Alliance for Rabies Control, a nonprofit that works to prevent outbreaks of the disease throughout the world.

UPDATE, July 13, 2014: The Global Alliance for Rabies Control has reached out to Managing Madrid to thank us for drawing attention to the phenomenal work they do around the globe. More on this to come later, but if anyone has any ideas for how to partner with them further please leave them in the comments. I think this is a particularly funny way to do some real good in the world.

Many things to consider before voting, my friends: will it be Pepe, who Suarez will do battle with many times over the coming seasons? Or do you think that Suarez might be just a little bit too racist to bite him? What about little Luka Modric, who seems so nonthreatening? Or will he go right for the Madridista jugular and attack the ghost of Alfredo Di Stefano?

All important considerations.

[Important note: rabies is not a joke. Every year rabies kills more than 55,000 people worldwide--mostly because they do not have access to treatment. The Global Alliance for Rabies Control is a good organization, and I really would encourage anyone with a charitable impulse to check them out.]

{Differently important note: Credit for this general idea goes to MM's Chris Stephens. Follow him on Twitter @CStephMM. Seriously, it's worth it.}