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Mourinho’s Middle Name Should Be Drama

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And he never buries the hatchet

Juventus v Manchester United - UEFA Champions League Group H Photo by Shaun Botterill/Getty Images

Growing up in Texas, I listened to a lot of country music (whether I wanted to or not), and one of my favourites was always Garth Brooks. In 1991, he put out “Ropin’ the Wind” — an album that contained a song that I can play in my head over and over: “Bury the Hatchet.”

It seems like Iker Casillas and Jose Mourinho have listened to that same song, recently even. I wasn’t a Real Madrid fan during the original drama between Casillas and Mourinho, but what I’m reading makes this latest stuff sound like more of the same. Perhaps Iker shouldn’t have brought up the original disputes between them, but that doesn’t excuse Mourinho’s response.

However, this is Jose Mourinho we’re talking about, and I’m fairly certain that “drama” is his middle name. The rumour from five years ago was that he was upset with Casillas attempting to make things better for camaraderie among the national team by calling then-Barcelona players, Carlos Puyol and Xavi, to establish peace. This angered Mourinho as he seemed to thrive on the rivalry between the teams. With his current tiff with Paul Pogba, his antics on the sidelines, and his behaviour in press conferences, I’m convinced that this is a man that lives for drama. He even ended his commentary with a sentence that is straight out of Vaugebooking 101: “He did it in a way that no one does better than him; secretly.”

Today, the latest is Mourinho saying that Casillas is behind a move to push David De Gea out of the Spanish National Team in an effort to be called up again. (Has Mourinho watched De Gea with the national team lately? He really hasn’t been up to snuff.) Maybe it’s time Jose moves on to a different target or job. He’s dramatic enough for a Maury Povich reboot.

Back to the song, I am proposing some changes to the lyrics, all from Mourinho’s perspective, of course:

Hey, all the press websites came online last night

Just like they do every time I have a little fight

It’s been at the point I can’t get along

I’m always commetin’ ‘bout things that should be dead and gone

I never bury the hatchet

I leave the whole thing laying out

I’m always trudging up things

I should forget about

When it comes to forgivin’

Iker, there ain’t no doubt

I never buried the hatchet

I left the whole thing laying out

Well, I was startin’ Adan

Hey, that I won’t deny

But that’s a long time ago

And you’re still the bad guy

But if you want to cut deep

How about you and Puyol?

I caught you calling him and Xavi

About five years ago

I never bury the hatchet…