The Secret Zidanista Cult Club: Episode 2 - Revenge of The Zidth


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Not so long ago in a galaxy not so far away....

War! The Club is crumbling

under attacks by the ruthless

Zidth Lord, Count Zizou.

There are villains on both sides.

Evil is everywhere.

(This saga follows the events immediately after the end of the prequel. If you have missed the first part, you can catch up here:

In this saga the members of The Secret Zidanista Cult Club are also known as The Zidth - an ancient religious order of Footforce-wielders devoted to the dark side of the Footforce and their leader and idol the Zidth Lord – Count Zizou. Driven by their emotions, hate, anger, and greed, the Zidth are deceptive and obsessed with gaining power no matter the cost.)

In the aftermath of the battle it was calm and silent at first. The battle was over, lost by a fraction, but nevertheless – lost. The inevitable had happened and The Club had sustained a hard blow to its ambition for glory and success. The supreme general of the army of The Club, the Zidth Lord Count Zizou, announced his decision to step down from the position. The Zidth were shocked. They didn’t believe that the day this would happen was so near, despite the warning signs of the past. Their belief in their leader and idol was unshakable, unquestionable, blind. At first, they accepted the harsh reality with sorrow and desperation, they believed that this gloomy day signified the end of the glorious times of The Club and the beginning of a ponderous era filled with disappointments, the downfall of The Club.


But then something unexpected happened. Count Zizou issued and open declaration of war to the Senate and its leader - Chancellor Papatino, striking directly at the core of The Club. He stated that his decision to step down was not entirely voluntary, he knew that if the battle was unsuccessful he was obliged to take the blame and go to exile. The Senate had asked him to return and renovate the army of The Club, however, he blamed them for not supporting his vision and not providing him with the necessary weapons to accomplish the required success. His concept of rebuild demanded the acquisition of formidable Zidth-warriors such as the famous Darth Paul, but all he got was misfiring storm troopers.


He accused the Senate of rebuking him for his close relation and trust in his old guard of Zidth warriors, who had proven themselves numerous times in battles during the years. He accused them of ignoring his accomplishments as supreme general in the army in the previous wars and underestimating his tactical abilities.

He accused the press-resistance too, a free faction that participated in all conflicts in the galaxy in one way or another, taking turns to hit at all participants as best as it could and wreak havoc among the people of the galaxy, feeding off the fluctuations in the Footforce field left behind. Count Zizou blamed them for using dirty tricks and devious tactics to put pressure on him and his army in the long war, hoping they would fail and provide them with the means of their sustenance. He exposed them for not caring about the people of the galaxy and the Footforce itself.


Then he accused the Senate of leaking the plans for his Death-star to the press-resistance, hoping that they will explore its weakness and hit the exhaust port, building up the pressure in its reactor and creating a chain reaction that would make it explode, but luckily he had those amazing warriors who were with him to the death. When things turned ugly they saved him with magnificent victories. Because they believed in him and knew he believed in them. Their relationship was so close, that they embraced the dark side of the Footforce along with him and turned from Jedi knights into Zidth Lords, fierce masters of the mystic powers and true commanders of the army.


He assured the people of The Club that they had given 100% of themselves to The Club. And finally he promised he would always remain one of them.

In his "arrogance" Count Zizou failed to recognize the true reasons for his own demise. He was just as convinced as his followers, the Zidth, that he was infallible. He would blame everyone but himself, despite the numerous indications to the opposite. He felt bitter and disappointed, even disrespected, betrayed and abandoned.

He failed to see that his single-minded cross-fire tactics lead to failures in the battles. His rushing into battle caused the wounding of his troopers, his reliance on the same warriors in every battle exhausted the army in the long run of the war, at the most crucial moments they could hardly give their best, on the brick of their powers they struggled to fend off the hordes of the enemy.

He failed to see that the young padawans he so easily brushed away as unworthy of wearing the colours of The Club could be guided into becoming formidable Jedi knights and provide him with the necessary weapons for success. He even failed to be the guiding hand for the misfiring storm troopers, who the Senate believed could also turn into polished Jedi warriors on their own, if the right master taught them the ways of the Footforce.


Chancellor Papatino and The Senate had their reasons for doubts and lack of faith in their supreme general. They had a different vision for the future. The Club was no longer the dominating power in the galaxy. Now there were other powers, ruthless and unprincipled, backed by whole trade federations injecting their wealth into their armies. Long gone were the days of past glory when Count Zizou himself had joined their army in a memorable quest to conquer the Galaxy, when they could tempt any Jedi knight to join their ranks and lead them to success, even the ones that fought on the eternal enemy’s side.


Now The Club had to provide their own Jedi knights, grooming them and carefully teaching them in the ways of the Footforce. That was the way, the vision for the future that Chancellor Papatino and the Senate determined and decided to follow. They had made a mistake. But that mistake was not their lack of support for Count Zizou, it was his assignment without matching their visions and establishing the path to follow. Time was not their ally. They had already lost three years in which the renovation of the army could have started. Now it seemed even more difficult and distant. They had lost valuable assets in the process and acquired heavy burden they had to get rid of first. Some of the wrong steps were made by the Senate, some by the supreme general. Maybe some of these mistakes could have been avoided, like the loss of the most formidable Jedi knight, capable of deciding battles on his own and inspiring his comrades in the wars, a weapon of mass destruction – Lord Ronaldo.


The Chancellor was now convinced he had to do all in his power to have such a weapon once again. He even asked the army to make a sacrifice, for the good of The Club so that he could finally bring this much needed Footforce master – a young Jedi knight who also dreamed of joining the ranks of The Club, but was unable to break free from the grasp of the trade federation backed army in which he enrolled to hone his abilities and turn into a Jedi warrior.


But there was a third party ready to join the conflict – the press-resistance. Count Zizou accused them of playing dirty, and they were eager to prove him right. They loved pouring fuel into the burning fire, they enjoyed controversy, fed off it, they fabricated sensations and sucked the emotional output of the people of The Club in the Footforce field. Divide and conquer, that was their motto and now they presented a controversial story, one that would seem impossible to many, even ridiculous, but many would fall for it and they knew it would divide the warring parties even further. They were ready to retaliate to the accusations. They claimed that Count Zizou’s most trusted Zidth warrior, the captain of his army Lord Ramos, was acting against the interests of the Senate and The Club. They said he was an infiltrated spy that wanted to sabotage the mission to bring the young Jedi knight to the ranks of The Club. Enraged by the departure of his master, he wanted revenge.


And so did the Zidth. They were ecstatic! That was what they longed for and needed so desperately, а reason to start a revolution and bring down the Senate and its Chancellor Papatino. The open declaration of war was enough to kick-start it. They were countless, almost the majority of the people of The Club, but what was more important was that others would easily join them when they turned them against the Senate and the Chancellor. People were easily manipulated, going with the flow, like a herd of sheep, all they needed was a little push. There was enough "evidence" in the declaration to prove the wrongdoings of the Chancellor. They presented Chancellor Papatino as a dictator, who did as he pleased, not valuing the legends of The Club, not supporting them but requiring impossible results, disrespecting them, conspiring against them behind their backs and using the press-resistance as his tool. They accused him of turning into an evil Emperor. They twisted the words and underlined the passages that suited them, manipulative as always, fanatics in their souls, enraged, infuriated by the impunity of the Chancellor’s actions, they wanted retribution. They wanted his head.


And maybe they were right, Chancellor Papatino was ruthless in his ways. He knew what he wanted and always found a way to accomplish it. He was a resourceful man. Some of his actions were in direct harm of The Club, like the loss of the Jedi knight, Lord Ronaldo, like the lack of patience that lead to the demise of many supreme generals, even before Count Zizou, like the appointment of Count Zizou himself for a job he was not the most suitable person to perform – rebuild the army. Lord Zizou was a leader, not a master teacher, he knew how to lead Zidth warriors, not how to turn padawans into Jedi.

His worst mistake was the formation of the Galactic Super League, together with the leaders of the other big powers in the galaxy, they openly opposed the United Galactic Footforce Association and rebelled against the Galactic Champions League. The conflict was resolved in a matter of days with the surrender of most of his allies, the repercussions still unclear in regards of The Club and the remaining two factions, who still defended their positions in an unresolved judicial stalemate. Whatever they would be, that action lead to a non-washable stain in The Club’s image.


No matter how bad these past wrongdoings had been, the Zidth didn’t care about them. They didn’t matter, they were insignificant at the time, ignorable, forgivable, as long as they resulted in the glory of their movement and their leader, the Zidth Lord – Count Zizou. He would inevitably gain more power in the process, had these actions lead to success, so the Zidth even approved them. But now that their leader had abdicated, they embraced them with open arms and used them as proofs of the evil Emperor’s transgressions. They wanted to remove him from power and place their leader on the throne. Only he could get rid of the evil in The Club and lead the way to the darkness. He would destroy all their enemies and bring glory to The Club once again. Emperor Zizou!

They transmitted waves of the dark side of the Footforce throughout the galaxy, hoping that Emperor Papatino would fall - #PapatinoOut…

But little did they know of the real power of Emperor Papatino. Resourceful as always, their actions meant nothing to him, he was not afraid of insignificant revolutions. He knew how to deal with them. He had done that many times in the past, putting out revolutions was a habit for him, some of them bigger than others, but yet he always managed to extinguish the fires.

And when the Zidth were holding their breath wishing the fire to burn stronger and stronger, engulfing the higher ranks of power in The Club, Emperor Papatino made his move – he appointed his new supreme general of the army, a well-known face, unexpected and a bit forgotten, but loved and respected throughout The Club. The old Jedi Master who had taken the Zidth leader – Count Zizou as a young padawan under his protection, taught him of the secrets of the Footforce and turned him into a fearsome Jedi knight. Later he had helped him master the Footforce and had turned him into the formidable Jedi master he was. Master Carlo, one of the finest masters of the Footforce, would now perform the renovation of the army that Count Zizou failed to execute.


That would be a hit to the heart of the Zidth. Their leader would be exposed as incapable tactician and inadequate general. It would be plain for everybody to see, that the proper supreme general could accomplish great deeds with this army at his disposal.

One more thing was necessary, though. One more act of grace and all the people of The Club would once again unite in their support for the Chancellor and the Senate. If they managed to acquire the allegiance of the young Jedi knight that all the people of The Club dreamed about, that would be the final hit to the Zidth. The Club would once again be feared and would return to its rightful place at the top of the galactic power-scale. The people of The Club would rejoice, the triumphs would follow shortly. A new era of galactic glory and success would come.


The Zidth would be forgotten. They would remain hidden in the dark, scheming and waiting for their hour, their opportunity to rise once again and strike at the heart of the Senate and the evil Emperor Papatino. Forgotten, but ever present, like a shadow following the light.



1) This is fiction based on and inspired by real events. It may inevitably criticize Zinedine Zidane and Florentino Perez in the process, but the purpose is not that, it is aimed at criticizing blind faith, single-mindedness, lack of objectivity and fanaticism. As all satirical works of fiction, it contains elements of exaggeration.

2) This is an opinion mostly seeking to entertain, it is not meant to offend anybody.

3) If you find it offensive rather than entertaining, you might be a member of The Zidth movement - a worthy Zidth warrior, consciously or subconsciously. Luckily for you, there is no tax to the Zidth Lords. May the Footforce be with you :)