The Review: 30 July 2023

Compliments From the Chef:

(inhales deeply)

I owe you an explanation...but you’ll probably skip this anyway.

El Oso is not about a restaurant. It’s not some running joke about Hulu’s hit drama series — The Bear. It’s not about cooking gifs alluding to Real Madrid signing Kylian Mbappe. It’s not just some weird way to waste time.

It’s about being exhausted.

It’s about sharing the unique attributes of MM rather than watching them divide. It’s about questioning whether this is all really worth it. But more than anything It’s about — forget it, you’ll skip this anyway.

...maybe one day this will all make sense

———————————

Welcome to El Oso (translation: The Bear) Edition of The Daily Merengue — a place where you can feel free to discuss all things football. Do not be alarmed by the overt RMCF bias. It’s in the name!

Shoutout to our chefs who do a fantastic job, Valyrian Steel, KungFuZizou, NeRObutBlanco, Felipejack.

——————————

32 Days Until El Oso’ Opening

“We wouldn’t ask why a rose that grew from the concrete had damaged petals, in turn we would celebrate its tenacity. We would all love its will to reach the sun. We are the roses. This is the concrete and these are my damaged petals. Don’t ask me why. Thank God and ask me how”

—————

Today’s menu is brief but tantalizing with a few hot overreactions. - Chef

Taster #1: Chorba Frik

An Algerian soup made with lamb (or beef), vegetables and a unique ingredient called frik - a type of wheat that is harvest while still green and roasted.

Similar to this hot soup, today’s El Clasico was both heated but still only an appetizer. Yes, the boys lost 0-3 to our eternal rivals on a hot Dallas day. However, it is important to remember this is preseason. Health and fitness are the primary goals.

Taster #2: Rechta

A dish made from pasta cut into thin fresh artisan strips served with a meat and a vegetable sauce that is seasoned with variety spices and may contain chickpeas, potatoes, and other vegetables.

Similar to these thin pasta strips, I’m going to use this main to bring to the foray a few overreactions from this game. Note: Some of these really aren’t overreactions because I’m quite frankly right lololololol

Pasta Strip #1: Vinicius shouldn’t take our pens

A lot of people mentioned that Vini should be allowed to take pens as the star of our team.

Exhibit A -

Pasta Strip #2: V

We have zero business playing the 442 diamond. It helps Jude but literally no one else. Mendy + Carvajal are not good enough to provide width and defensive coverage. Fede sometimes looks a bit lost as the midfield is cluttered. Vini doesn’t know how to play with his back to the goal. Rodrygo doesn’t know how to move with Vini in this space.

Pasta Strip #3: We have good defenders but have no defensive structure.

Yea that’s all I’m saying. Feel free to discuss.

Taster #3: Maghrebi Mint Tea

Gunpowder green tea with spearmint leaves and sugar.

I could use some relaxing tea after today’s performance (which was somewhat bittersweet).

Now What You’ve ACTUALLY Waited For: Gifs

This Daily Thread is dedicated to...me

Edit: The End